Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
John Cougar Mellencamp
Well, it seems here lately that life does indeed go on. And, rest assured, I am feeling that the thrill of life has passed me by. Going out the other day reaffirmed this for me. I had neither fun, nor excitement, the way a simple trip to the corner bar used to provide. I am not sure if its a culmination of all the stress and bullshit and heartache I have been through as of late, but whatever it is, it fucking sucks.
I cant seem to shake the feeling that, "what if I've already had the GOOD part of my life". Is that possible? I mean, at 35 soon to be 36, is it possible that the best years of my life are behind me?
I mean, if they are, I cant really complain too much. I've been around the world three times. I've met some of the most fascinating people on the planet. Sat inside the Roman Colluseum, had lunch on the steps at the Vatican, swam in the middle of the Meddeterenean Sea, Snorkled off a corla reef in San Jaun, Sand Surfed in Kuwaiit, sw the monkeys at the Rock of Gibralter, been to a real live gold souk, slept in the same hotel that Princess Di did, and so much more.
So why then does it seem as if its not enough? Am I being selfish? Childish?
Is it wrong to want to meet somebody who I can fall head over heels in love with, and have them feel the same, instead of it being one sided?
I dont know, it just seems lately, the thrill isnt there anymore. The thrill of the chase isnt even there.
Maybe this is what getting old feels like.
Getting old sucks.
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